Displaying 4 of 4 comments
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4. 05/03/11, 08:15 pm
Says: "Hey Alison,
I love that you opened up with this personal experience! Here are a few really small comments right off the bat :) Small, but BIG comment - I have a hard time reading that small of font. Maybe make it a size larger? Another small comment, in your first paragraph change "choose" to "chose." I'd also recommend saying "a lot" of anxiety rather than "much." Just sounds a little funny. Lastly, this sentence is awkward...maybe reword? ---> My trial with the decision-making process will help me convey the importance of taking responsible risks to my students.
OK on to other comments :) I really like how explicit you are in tasks accomplished and that you provided very specific examples for what you did to gain your independence once you moved to Chicago. Same thing with lessons learned...you did a great job conveying the exact lessons you learned from this experience, specifically flexibility, adaptability, open-mindedness, etc.
GREAT ending with discovering DePaul and the masters of education program. I'm not sure if the point of your EOW is to show your personal struggles and lessons learned by themselves OR if you want to highlight more how your experience will impact your students, but you can definitely do more of the latter if you'd like. I see you did that in the last paragraph and in the Importance section. I guess my overall feedback would be to determine whether or not you'd like to include more of the impact of this experience onto your students. Great job!
Kristen"
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3. 04/24/11, 04:46 pm
Says: "Alison,
This is a great experience for reflection and self identification. It tells a lot about the type of individual you are. From this EoW, I found many different core capacities that seem to define parts of who you are and the type of educator you might become. You are independent, motivated, adaptable, determined, and aspiring. All of these capacities can translate into the type of teacher you will be.
My suggestion for you in some parts is to leave out some of the more specific details that you have included. For example, in your tasks accomplished section, you might not need to go into how you looked online to find an apartment or the steps you took to actually make your move. Find a way to connect these tasks with your core capacities to highlight the strengths you encompass.
I would also suggest trying to find even more ways to connect this experience to teaching experiences you have had thus far. How have you been able to use your moving experience and becoming independent in the classroom? Have you been more confident in your own abilities, which has allowed you to make better choices in the classroom? Even if it just during observations, have you been more confident taking on an active role helping out in the class?
Overall this is a great EoW and truly identifies some strong character traits that you have. Good job
-Kylie"
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2. 11/03/10, 02:42 pm
Says: "Alison,
Another tight piece! Like with the one I read before, my suggestion is for you to:
1- Highlight another core capacities that I think you have missed: A-You know yourself VERY WELL
B- You are a risk taker
Then, as you move into Imp of Exp., I again, suggest you talk less about how the experience helped you "discover(ed) the Masters of Education program at DePaul University which has allowed me to pursue my passion for teaching."---You could have discovered a MA in Education staying close to home..so your core capacities are less relevant to the discovery of your passion for Education than they are to your work as a teacher, your role vis a vis your students development as learners: If you know yourself well and can reflect on your own capacities, you'll instill that in your students. If you're a risk taker, you'll encourage your students to do so, and get out of their comfort zone because you know there is a lot of learning about themselves that will happen in those situations, even if they are uncomfortable/scary...You'll know when to support and when to let go, and will teach them how to do that too: when to ask for help/seek support and when they are ready to sail solo...(that's a very important trait to develop when you're an apprentice...to know yourself as a learner)
Very nice piece...that tells a lot about you."
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1. 10/28/10, 05:16 pm
Says: "Alison,
Your question about the title a good one. When I read about your choices to move to Chicago, I see this decision as important decision (and perhaps risk☺) that shows you becoming/being more independent. Things that come to my mind include, Making Decisions, Becoming Independent, New Places: New Challenges, On My Own,….Sometimes just listing possibilities with another person can help you arrive at something precise, clear, and inviting for readers.
IMPORTANCE: It seems like you're saying here, life is full of decisions and one has to be ready to take risks and make informed decisions one step at a time.
To me, here's what you did (tasks):
*Found apt (perhaps by finding resources, visiting places, calling around, learning about neighborhoods…just adding on b/c it seems there might be a bit more to say here.
*Figured out strategies for staying connected (calling home) and settling in/forging new relationships here (perhaps say a little bit more about what you did in an effort to meet folks/connect with new friends)
What you learned/skills you gained seem to include:
*How to navigate a new city on your own
*How to be open-minded and positive
*How to be patient with yourself and see moving as a process
Sorting out what goes where in lessons learned/skills gained is somewhat of an individual process as you come to decide exactly which categories you'll consistently use in your EoWs and how you define the categories for yourself. As you think thru "your definitions" for the sections, I wonder going with either lessons learned OR skills gained would be helpful?
Lastly, you mention "student connections" in the 3 center sections. To me this EoW seem to be lots about you (which it should be). I wonder if your linking to future actions with students might go in impact where you might talk about how patience, open-mindedness, navigational skills etc are important for kids and the fact that you're "lived" the challenges of these things first hand how that may better serve you in your interactions with young people. Does that make sense? Does it sound like how you're thinking of this situation?
Please take comments into consideration as you revise while keeping in mind you're the author and this is your experience. My comments are my "read" –so use my reactions as you see appropriate.
Thanks,
Katie
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