How English as a Second Language Affected my Reading and Writing

by Maria Razo

I have always wondered how people seem to have the gift of reading and writing.  Growing up I thought that reading and writing were just second nature to some people.  I can’t say that I was one of those kids blessed with that second nature.  It was not until recently I came to realize that maybe my struggles with reading and writing were probably due the fact that Spanish is my first language.  I strongly believe that my experience with reading and writing would have been different if the school system would have offered a program that helped students whose first language was not English.     

It is strange how so many years later I can remember when my struggle began with reading and writing.  I do not know why, but at some point in fifth grade I was transferred from my classroom to another classroom with students that were considered slow.  Today “slow” students are called students with special needs.  I did not like the fact that I was in this classroom with those kids because that class was looked down upon by the other students in the school.  I was embarrassed to be associated with the class. Just thinking about being in the classroom reminds me about how terrible I felt.  The fact that I was in this class made me feel like I was stupid and I knew that I was not stupid.  Some of the kids in the class looked like they weren’t getting what was going on in the classroom, as if they were clueless.  I could be wrong, but I thought that the kids in this class were mentally challenged.  I knew that I didn’t have any mental problems; for that fact, I didn’t even know that I had a problem.  All I knew was that I did not belong with this group of kids.  At no point do I ever remember my teacher or any school administrator talking to my parents about having to place me in this classroom with the special kids.  I can say that this experience has left me with a scar that I really haven’t been able to hide. 

The second time I had a similar experience was when I was in eighth grade.  My parents had purchased a house and I wasn’t happy that we were going to have to move because this meant I was not going to graduate with my friends.  I was nervous because I did not know anyone in the school.  The kids seemed to be fine but I noticed that I was the only Mexican in the class.  The kids were curious about where I moved from and where I lived and if I had any brothers or sisters.  Everything was going fine in the new school until it came to going to the reading class. All my new friends were going to the 8th, 7th or 6th grade reading rooms.  When it came time for me to go to reading, I was going to the 3rd grade reading classroom.  The class got quiet. You can only image the surprised looks on the other kids’ faces.  There wasn’t anything I could do to change my situation. At that point, no one wanted anything to do with me.  I felt like the stupid kid who didn’t know how to read at the 8th grade level.  I was no longer that new popular girl that the kids wanted to be with.  I didn’t realize how poor my reading skills were until then.  I went to the reading class every day.  I felt that I was making some progress, seeing that this was actually the first time we were addressing my reading abilities.  We were given reading tests as we went along.  If you passed the reading test, you would move onto the next reading level. All I can remember is that I did a lot of reading; something that I don’t remember doing as much at my previous school. Because of the reading class I moved up two whole reading levels.

I’m happy to say that I made it through my reading class; it was helpful and I went on to high school.  Unfortunately my struggles with reading and writing continued in high school.  Homework always seemed to be challenging for me.  I always felt like I had to read things at least twice.  I saw a commercial on TV about Evelyn Wood Speed Reading and thought I that if I could learn to read faster I would be able to read through my reading material faster.  My problem wasn’t that I couldn’t read.  I had a hard time retaining what I was reading. I have always been a slow reader. In hindsight, I can see that I needed a program that would help me with my reading and comprehension, not a speed reading program.  How was I to know that?  I was just a kid doing the best that I could.  Something kept telling me that there had to be a better way to improve my reading and writing, but I did not have the answer.  I never addressed the issue because I was too embarrassed to talk about it.  I made up my mind and knew that I had to keep trying to make the best of my situation and eventually the reading and writing wouldn’t be so hard.  I always did my homework to the best of my ability.  I knew that I was doing something right.  I don’t think that I could have been that bad; I graduated from grade school and I graduated high school and now it was time to go onto college.

In the back of my mind I knew what a hard time I had through grade school and high school and it made me wonder if I would be able to handle a four year college curriculum because of the reading and writing I might have to do.  So instead of going to a four year college, I decided to attend a junior college, Robert Morris College.  I do not know what I did differently when it came to reading and writing; maybe I just got accustomed to the fact that reading and writing is something that I would always need to work hard at.  I found myself asking questions to help me understand things a little better. I worked with the teachers or classmates. I did what I had done before: study hard, and do my homework to the best of my ability and two years later I became a graduate of Robert Morris College with an Associate’s Degree. 

After a couple of years of working in the secretarial field, I felt that I needed to further my education.  I didn’t know what field I wanted to pursue or where I should continue my education.  A co-worker of mine was attending DePaul and told me about the School for New Learning Program (SNL).  At the moment it sounded like a good program where I could pursue my Bachelor’s Degree at DePaul University on a part-time basis and continue working on a full-time basis.  Never in my wildest dreams did I realize that program was going to involve so much reading and writing.  What was I thinking?  I can say with all honesty that I truly didn’t know what I had signed up for.

One of the SNL courses that tested my reading and writing skills was the Research Seminar class.  This course required a lot of research: heavy reading and writing.  I knew that I was going to have to get help.  I worked closely with the professor to help me through the assignment.  I also found myself working with the librarian to help me find the articles that pertained to my topic. I would read the articles and then write the peer review papers.  As I completed a paper, I would bring drafts of my papers to the writing center so that they would help me with the mechanics.  I utilized all my resources; my professor, the librarian and the writing center to help me complete my research project. Thank God I had all this help because there was no way that I would have been able to complete this project on my own.  It was hard but I proved to myself that I could do it.

All in all, my reading and writing have been a learning experience. I have learned that I didn’t have to struggle through life had I voiced my concern to my teachers and to my parents from an early age.  Not until recently did I learn that maybe English as a second language played a role in the struggles I had with reading and writing. I have learned to ask for help and to utilize the writing centers at the different campuses to help me with my writing assignments.  I can honestly say that I have come a long way.  The moral of this story is that I didn’t let my struggles with reading and write stop me from pursuing my education.  I will continue to be reading and writing as long as I live.