Poem 2/18/18
The teal sky fills up my mind
While I sit on my sofa and listen to cars pass by
Through the thickness of a glass window
And the rays of the sun that penetrate the sills
It is almost like personification- the almost opening of the window
And the warmth of the glass decreases the farther it rises
Just like how this morning I got up, I arose in my bed
To find a new day
Like a good turn playing Scrabble
And right now, I can’t find the words that I am feeling
Because he finally left.
He left- to find circumstances
To find himself in another girl
Because he thinks he’ll never get me back
By that’s ok, I’m ok, because the truth hit me in a dream
It was one of those dreams where I didn’t see but felt the penetrating pain
And I almost couldn’t take it, but I kept asking for more, until I finally woke up
And it makes me wonder if he has this hidden pain too, I doubt it,
Because he is too perfect
And he is almost too much for me, in a way
But when he passes me I can feel the brown emitting
He has brown hair and, in my mind, brown eyes
Who knows how they are really colored- only those who have seen him lately
And the guy in my dream, standing to my right, told me he is a good guy
Amongst all the chaos that penetrates that which used to keep me interested
Until I figured out something that made me realize that that is never what I’ll be
And now I wish I could go back and take a picture of his eyes
And if they are brown I would trust the soldier (or dictator) in my dreams
And I would walk up to him like he walked up to me
When it all started, and I told him without words, not to talk to me
And I wish I could go back and say hello
So that he could tell me everything
But now I just sit in my apartment
While my walls build up to the passing energy of his car
That is the 1%
And until I can drive someday
I will be outside of where I am now