3/29/20
Look at us from outer space
Everyone must find their place….
Open up your eyes
These are the lyrics of my favorite Coldplay song- it is something that sticks with me like peanut butter.
When I lived at a nursing home a person fell victim to peanut butter
I feel worst for victims because sometimes I can’t sympathize for them
And it makes my head hurt
I had a concussion when I was eight years old
And I occasionally get mad about it
Just like how I get mad that I don’t see what I really want when I look outside
To an alley where sometimes people walk their dogs
I feel like dogs live for free biscuits and water in a bowl outside of a business’ door
The funniest thing I have seen lately is a sign for free smells outside of a Jimmy John’s
All I have in my fridge is peanut butter and jelly
As I sit and get nostalgic to Coldplay’s A Warning Sign
A good song without a video
Just like with Jimmy Eat World’s 23
That used to be my favorite song I’d lie on my bed and listen to
CDs are out of fashion, but I still have a big book of CDs in my closet
Along with a bike helmet and a first aid kit
There is a fire extinguisher on the floor of my bedroom closet
I never touch it but sometime the clothes on the floor do
My old sheets are on the top shelf, as well as all my old notebooks
I have twenty-three things on my coffee table, more or less
I have a phobia of putting my feet up on it
As I stay up all night and bore myself almost to death with YouTube videos
While all my imaginary/crazy friends pass by
The last big thing is that one of them claimed my old crush’s sister died
And it makes me feel alone
If I was left alone on a deserted island, I would bring my computer so that I could write to my brother
He is very handsome but has issues
The first time I saw him he walked up to me at the gym and sat on the bike next to mine
The stationary kind
And that was when I realized that I hadn’t gone to church lately, but I still wouldn’t go
Not without him
And I am not just bragging- I know in the future he will be with me, even if
He is screwed by another girl
I feel like he could be Ferris Bueler’s best friend- in the way that
He would let any girl walk all over him
I associate Ferris Bueler’s Day Off with bipolar patients
I have never sat in traffic, but I used to do things to get high
While I was with some unknown-to-me-at-the-time presence
That I think has evolved over time into something that I need
The license plates in the back of the garage of the family I used to baby sit for linger in my mind
I still don’t get it really – but I would go back just to see the dog
I would go to hell to see my brother because nowadays he is all I have- he is
Waiting for me in heaven but I am just afraid that I will screw it up, like last time
When my grandma used to baby sit me, she gave me popcorn and Jelly Bellys
She gave me American Girl Dolls stuff- mine was Molly Micintire-
My brother would say that the beret she wore was the best, while at the same time
Looking around the corner out of anxiety, of seeing him
I didn’t used to like Coldplay, I’m pretty sure
The ultimate thing for me used to be Two Step by Dave Matthews
But that was before I understood sex- you know, that part in a song’s beat where
You can feel the climax
Just like how this is now the conclusion of the song
and the beginning of another