Biology class unedited

In my sophomore year at LA, before I almost went insane because of inexplicable events (or rather events that I would rather just not explain), I was in Biology class, if I remember correctly, track 5 Biology class- track five is somewhere between track one, the lowest, and track 6, the average track- I was in track 9 (honors) English freshman year, and when stuff started turning bad in my life I stopped caring about classwork, and I got demoted to track 6- but that’s despite the point, right now.  I remember a lot of minor details about that Biology class- I tried to make a model of a cell using items such as marshmallows that failed miserably, around the same time that I almost burnt down the cafeteria by putting a metal pan in the cafeteria microwave, to prep for a speech demonstrating how to make a chocolate cake- fortunately the worst that came out of that situation was the fact that some people saw and thought it was funny/stupid of me, according to their snickers and/or cruel words.

In Biology class I guy named Barty sat in front of me, if I remember correctly.  I used to be pretty, but a dork, in the eyes of my fellow classmates, and some people acted in a certain way responding to this- some people were mean, some reached out to me.  Looking back, I couldn’t care less how things worked out for those people: not caring meaning that I want nothing to do with them.  Sometimes I think about where things went wrong for me and that school and those people- were they all damned to the point where I was meant to fall to them and their evil ways, so that I can look back to them eighteen years later and still have a phobia of them?  Barty was one of the guys that used to flirt with me.  He made a comment one time, something along the lines of “I drew a line for you, Amy,” and at that moment/before that moment he drew on the floor.  I remember we were doing an in-class project, I think one that needed a calculator, and in the front of the class there was a guy with, if I remember correctly, black hair, and I guess he didn’t get along with Barty, put they passed a calculator along between the two them, and in their interaction they were cordial, but when Barty continued to talk in the small group of me and him and possibly another person (don’t remember who else was in the group) he made snide comments, one or the only one being something about the crocodile/alligator on the other guy’s shirt- something along the lines of “Him and his stupid alligator shirt….”  And I felt the unamiability between the two.  The black-haired guy was someone I never talked to, and looking back, at the moment I would say I would be on the side of the other guy, because I am pretty sure Barty grew up to be a prick.  He was also in my 6 track English class, and he made a comment, pertaining to the vocabulary quizzes, that it takes him “10 minutes to memorize all the words.”  He also made a comment about one of the guys sitting by him, or someone he was talking about, being “goofy.” 

All of these characteristics are what I remember of a guy I am pretty sure I had a crush on as a 14 and 15-year-old, and that just goes to show how much a person can change over the years, after adolescence hits them.  I remember seeing Barty in the student center, as a 14 or 15-year-old, walking around with a girl with blonde hair, Maura, with each other’s arms around each other’s shoulders, and they looked like they were on cloud nine, and if I remember correctly, I probably wanted to be like them. But now I don’t. 

Other stuff happened in Biology- a kid made a joke about “oxygen”- not Barty, but Matthew. 

I can’t remember if this is something I thought about as a teenager/young adult, or if it had something to do with a dream I had (a reoccurring dream?) but I have this nostalgia about sneaking from where I sat in Biology class—at the very back- to the front of the class- I sat in the very back, closest to the windows- on the east side of the classroom, and I remember- for some odd reason, thinking about, I think, crawling up, in-between, if I remember correctly, the two most eastern rows of the two rows (or columns?)- like secretly, like if I was invisible to everyone else- either that, or the nostalgia was that they saw me and I made my way up there- I don’t remember thinking anything about the teacher- pretty sure.  This, in a minor way, is attached, in my mind, to something that I just can’t get past- I have this thing in the back of my mind of a pool/beach party with a girl at the 3rd school I went to- who had red eyes when she walked past me by the photography classroom.  When things started to get better for me, we had less anxiety between us- but that thing where I, in a dream or daydream, or whatever, crawled up the aisle; this is the same type of nostalgia as the pool party thing, kind of.  In the crawling up the row nostalgia, now, looking back, I think I remember a kid Raz, who used to be short with bad acne, being up front, or somewhere by that path that I took, and now I can’t remember if the point of me crawling up the row would be to get to Raz- but looking back, Raz was smart and probably in Honors science- so why did I think this?  Why does this detail of me trying to get to Raz exist?  Does it have something to do with Barty?  Is that something that Barty was thinking- did the memory pass to me, after he drew the line on the floor for me?  Probably not- that seems irrational- but that nostalgia of me crawling or walking up the row sticks with me as something surreal, and necessary, at the same time.

The last thing I want to notate about these scenarios is that one time, in Biology class, a girl named Christine passed by the doorway- either that, or she walked in the classroom door, and Barty made a comment about her being “nasty.”  And I do not want to be nasty.  I remember one day in Biology I was wearing my sweatpants and Barty held out his hand, if I remember correctly, and looked hypnotized and said something like, “What’s up, Amy?”  and I was coming from the same direction as the door that Christine walked past/through.  I hated doing labs, I hated Biology, when I got to the point when I stopped doing schoolwork.  So, I went to the hospital, to get away from some of those people- most of them.  The final thing I want to write is that I did a test or something for Biology in the hall with a guy named Jonathan.  And when Eliza walked by us with that expression that said, “you finally got there, Amy,” John started to talk to her and poked by/on her belly button.  I remember Eliza wearing green a lot in my memories- green shirts- sea green shirts.  But I guess this goes with the uniformity of a dress code.