DRAFT: This module has unpublished changes.

Free Write 6/5/17  - J and Tom, hitler dream, Erin/lobotomy

I am going to try to write this, by what facts I think are true-  and whatever pertains to me- I will write to the best of my recollection

 I am going to try to write another diary entry thing, like I have been doing (like Anne Frank, hahaha), and instead of reviewing and editing it, like I have been doing, I am going to write it and put it up right away on DePaul Digication.

I have been writing diary entries, kind of Anne Frank style, and I’m pretty sure all of them are close to the truth- I had the intent in mind to tell the truth, so I’m pretty sure I got it down all right. 

Sometimes when I lie awake at night, I listen to the sound of cars passing down the streets by my apartment.  I hear the gush of the wind, up against my window.  I like to imagine that people that I know are passing by, instead of people I don’t know- whether those people be bad or good.  Sometimes it feels the same during the day, when I am alone in my apartment, and I can hear the sound of cars passing, off wind gushing by.  Sometimes my best ideas come to mind, for what I want to write about, when I am on my couch, with my laptop on my lap, and I have the window behind me.  I don’t know how some of the ideas come to mind for what I want to write about, but I find these ideas, and I try to get it down into words, on my laptop.  Right now, however, I am at a Potbelly’s trying to get down something that had come to mind a long time ago, around a year.  When I was younger, and living at a nursing home, I used to keep diaries, more than one- and I would do stuff like write down poems and entries about stuff that I was thinking, about stuff that was on my mind.  For one of them, I dedicated it to Anne Frank, on the inside of the cover- I think I wrote- (it might have been on a sticky note)- Dedicated to Anne.  After writing and getting down my ideas, over a portion of my lifetime, the idea of writing and writers has occupied my mind.

One of the best writers ever was Anne Frank- I think I have heard that, except for the Bible, her diary is the most read (or most published? forgot) book in the whole world, ever.  I have come to think what type of atmosphere would inspire such writing as that of Anne Frank.  I remember my ideas towards this, if I remember correctly, started one day when I was in my apartment, with my couch and window.  I think I was writing stuff down in a notebook that I had been keeping my ideas in, and it came to mind what made Anne such a writer, or even a person, as she was.  Then I started to come up with ideas- something in my intuition led the way- and after a while a whole story, a whole collage of ideas came out, that I have tried to write in my personal diar(ies), and now I am trying to write it out with a more public audience- so here it goes.  (whether it be true or not, is for you to decide J)

I think that Anne Frank and the people that lived with her in the annex, were very scared about what was going on, with the war, their wellbeing, and what would happen in the future.  I think they were so scared that they became able to develop mental abilities, psychic abilities.  Pertaining exactly to what, I am a little unsure, but I think the circumstances that surrounded her and the people she was living with led to them being able to communicate in a special way, a clairvoyant way.  I think it would be possible that when they were arrested by the Nazis, the Nazis would figure this out, and they, perhaps, would do tests on them.  I think it’s possible that Anne Frank was pregnant when she was arrested, or got pregnant, after she was arrested, maybe by a Nazi, maybe by a fellow Jew, like her boyfriend, I think his name was Peter (spelling?).  I think this situation might have repeated itself, where Jews formed psychic abilities while they were in hiding (and maybe even at concentration camps), because they were out of their mind scared (and-side note- this makes me wonder if the situation will ever repeat itself- where something happens/is happening  that makes people living somewhere out of their minds scared so that they form psychic abilities, special communicating abilities).  I wonder if Anne Frank’s kid was born, at the concentration camp she was sent to, so that tests would be done on the baby/babies (one baby, twins, triplets, etc).  I wonder if Jew babies at concentration camps, or wherever they were confined, were forced to interact with each other, to see if they would have the same psychic abilities as their parents.  I wonder if one baby was placed with another baby (another baby, from another parent/parents) and they were forced to interact to see if the psychic ability carried on, in whatever way(s) possible (these ways could be very bad- and it bothers me to think about, but I think it is true- the worst thing in the back of my mind says these things the young children were forced to do were sexual).  I wonder if even a baby (when I say baby I mean, probably, toddler or older, because a baby wouldn’t be able to do such things yet) with a normal brain was forced to interact with on that had an abnormal brain, like they type of brain that was retarded.  I wonder if two normal children were forced to “interact” in front of a child who was retarded, to see if the retarded child’s mental abilities would change/improve, because the Nazis figured out the psychic ability thing that the parents of the young children had.  The possibilities are many, of what could have gone on when the Nazis figured out that the Jews had psychic/special mental abilities from hiding out/being very scared.  Maybe that’s why the fifties were such a turning point, and in each descending generation, like the 60’s, the 70’s, people became more and more arrogant, going against the rules of “behaving” well, in society.  I wonder if that was the whole point of the war (WWII), in some underlying manner, that this is how we have evolved mentally, and I think of the war as something that went off on a tangent, off of everything that was going on before.  I’m not sure if there were combinations of the types of young children that were forced to do this: retarded girl (J) and not retarded boy (T) being an example. I’m not sure if it is possible that Anne Frank had triplets, and two were retarded and one not, or whatever combination possible.  Maybe even Anne Frank’s twins were forced to do stuff with another child (a retarded one?).  What comes to mind here is that this is why Hitler killed himself- with whatever went down- he might have even been a father to one of these children- who the Nazis used to study psychic abilities.  Maybe Hitler had sex with Anne Frank and they had a baby/babies with psychic abilities.  What comes to mind here is the movie Constantine- where the devil wants to have a baby (and also the psychic powers of twins is a topic).  Maybe (A) baby/child was forced to interact with (E) baby/child.  I’m sure the Nazis almost went crazy when they figured out about the psychic thing- they probably went nuts- maybe when Anne Frank had sex with one of the soldiers she was forced to have a lobotomy because she went crazy (side note- who had sex with Anne to make her go so crazy? Probably a soldier) (side note- maybe retarded baby (M) (a girl?) was forced to interact with her siblings, non-retarded baby (A) (a girl) and non-retarded baby (C) (a boy)

Another thing that comes to mind is that Jews, during the war, were given lobotomies, maybe so that the whole psychic ability/clairvoyance thing could be further explored.  I know I have heard before that Nazi doctors did special experiments on Jewish twins during the war.  What came to mind, one day, branching off of this concept, is that some people, Jewish people, had lobotomies, as experiments, by Nazi doctors.  What comes to mind, from this concept, is, what if someone from the war, a Jewish person that had a lobotomy, came back, to live in present time?  What if one of the people I am sitting with at Potbelly’s, had a lobotomy during WWII< as a Jew?  Would they have a soul?  I’d be pissed off, if I were them, but is it possible that whatever soul they had before, left?  What if something the Jew that had a lobotomy did in their past, their past as a Jew, they made them deserve what happened to them?  What would God do/think in this situation?  What if one of/multiple Jews, for example, were alive during Jesus’ time- what if they were Jews during His time, and the Jew that had a lobotomy during WWII that came back from Jesus’ time was one of those Jews (from the time of Jesus) that were responsible for the death of Jesus (coincidence- Jew/Jew).  Would someone deserve a lobotomy in that circumstance? 

 

I had a dream, a long time ago, one of those dreams that were amazing and fascinating at the same time. I think it happened after a rather interesting night at the nursing home- either before or after, can’t remember.  I was in a room, I think, that wasn’t too small, and on the other side of the room, the opposite that I was standing on, there were three things, that looked kind of like something protruding out of the ground, like a tower, but it was very much smaller, since I was indoors (99% sure it was indoors, but dreams are dreams where nothing is real, so I can’t say for sure).  There were three of them, I’m pretty sure, and looking back, I think I remember there being a cloth/sheet (or cloths/sheets) covering them, and above it was some lights, I think, either one or more lights.  Then, to the left of the whole thing, the three standing things, that were different sizes tall (I still can’t remember which was shortest, which was in the middle in height, and which was the tallest- my intuition says that this was important but I can’t remember it) (also the fact that there was a cloth/sheets or cloths/sheets over it makes me think that, because the dream in some way makes me think of the night at the nursing home that was one of the most memorable, and that it had something to do with a “cover up”) there was a light, to the best of my recollection- if I remember correctly, it was kind of like it came from a hallway- I can’t remember if it was coming from a doorway or not.  I remember this because of how the light seemed different from the three other things- if my intuition/something in my head is trying to tell me something about the night at the nursing home, I think it’s that 1) it’s something about a cover-up, possibly, and 2) that whatever person that could have been symbolized by the light all the way to the left differed from the three tall things more to the right.  The person the light symbolized differed, in a way, front the three things that were represented by the three tall things. 

Then, I can’t remember if it was before or after I saw the light/three tall things, I saw a person, to my right, who kind of reminded/reminds me of Hitler (looking back, he reminds me of Hitler).  If I remember correctly, at the moment that I saw his light brown (friendly? If I remember correctly) eyes, my intuition told me that that was the most important part of the dream- his brown eyes.  Anne Frank’s eyes, when I last looked it up online, were green.  Does this mean, by some divine intervention, that something in me, during that dream, told me that Hitler didn’t have sex with Anne Frank (because, I have been told that when two people have sex, they become one, I think this means that it is possible/probable that the two people having sex have the same color eyes while they have sex)?  A while ago, I think it was sometime last year, I was on my bed and I heard someone from my alley scream out “People!”  and around that time, I can’t remember if it was the same day or not, something that came from knowing the energy of that shout- “People” told me that the father of Anne Frank’s boyfriend, Peter’s Dad, had green eyes.  I can’t remember how exactly it came to me- maybe in a way I found my own psychic energy around the time that someone shouted out “People!” from outside- I think from my alley- but what does this mean?  Did Anne Frank have sex with people in the annex, before they were all arrested?  Did they do it to see about the whole psychic thing that they had possibly just discovered?  Or was there a more sinister intention in mind?  I think they just did it to see about the psychic thing, but I could be wrong.  But I think it was just to see- about the psychic abilities- pretty sure.

If I was a psychic WWII baby-  I would be embarrassed.  But what happened, happened.  

DRAFT: This module has unpublished changes.