3/22/18

Poem- Love

Love is who tucks you in at night

It’s for who holds your hand throughout the fight

It’s who knows the best and worst of you

It’s for those that you have nothing to prove

Love is what intrigues you most in the middle of the night

It’s what life is for when you know more than what is right

It’s what you see outside your window at dawn

It’s the angelic figure hiding out on your lawn

Love is where you lie down with him

It’s when you tell him to rest when the light turns dim

It’s where the sunset meets the crashing shore

It’s where you held his hand tighter than ever before

Love is when you just know it’s right

It’s when the worst of you comes out in a fight

And yet he accepts you for all that you are

And something so close can only be compared to something so far

Love is why all matter exists

It’s why flowers rest in the late-night mist

Love is why I’m writing this

It’s when something is better than the classic plot twists

Brainwashing at Lincoln Park- stream of consciousness

My Summer went well, said the Danielle, was what he said in my dream.  My favorite sandwich is a chick pea, and during the summer I dream of escaping to Goose Island and letting loose- watching the geese throw eggs at the neighbor’s garage and running away like Wildman, in the night.  The thrill of my life is to be brainwashed, by the other J.  The one I used to sit across from during lunch- we would listen to the jukebox – come on barbie lets go party- and I would have my three-course meal in front of me, supplemented by some type of drink- be that Juicy Juice or not.  MY sister Julie and I used to watch the Olympics- during 2000- drinking Juicy Juice and lying on the couch.  My dog was with me when I was scared.  Dogs are the only ones that understand me, not even they can reach me on that level.  My favorite dogs are Alaskan Huskies because they are big-time wolves, but I also like shepherd dogs with one blue eye and another color the other- but I always see SHE with a Golden Retriever- because they are both golden.  I miss Gemma and Ian but before Ian died he hated me and felt bad for my Dad.  And I used to think Gemma was a bad dog- but she wasn’t.  Gemma used to lay down in front of me to distract me- from the tv, from what was going on outside, from whatever.  She was a good girl.  She had big brown eyes that now I can only see in the picture on the mantel- next to my dead grandpa.  He was sitting alone yet smiling like a Joker.  Sometimes I can relate to the red cheeks of the joker.  And a SHE just walked in the door.  She is jealous of the other she, and that is why I cannot capitalize the first SHE. 

Stripes are my favorite color.  I have a sweater that is like that of the one the other Katie had that she said in front of Danielle she got it from Sear’s.  Did it cost $20, or was that just me?  Anyways, now I am ascared of blue.  And green?  The earth revolves around nothing but itself, and therefor it determines everything.  The only other thing that is better than love is a dove- that flies in your apartment, just like in Stigmata.  El messenger no es importante.  Haha.  I have a crush on Gabrielle even though I know it’s wrong.  I want to write like Jesus one day.  Do I now?  Because Jesus is always with you.  My favorite quote from the movie:  The kingdom of God, is inside you and all around you:  lift a stone and I am there, split a piece of wood, and you will find me.  And now people from Anne’s work just walked in and they are on the “I am better than you” mode.  And my old friend Julie is still hunched over her computer doing God knows what.  And in the past few days I have felt more like myself.  Maybe I had to get the St. Patrick’s Day out of my system.  Who Knows?  And a tall blonde girl is sitting next to Julie, wearing shades.  What do her eyes look like?  Does she have eyes?  Does she really have holes where they should be?  I got my tooth pulled the other day.  It didn’t hurt, like it did when I found out the truth about HIM.  Maybe I like writing in the stream of consciousness to get the ball rolling.  I haven’t had coffee in a long time.  I had a dream last night that the kid from my SPN class that one version of HE not SHE hates was in my room one night when I lived at Albany Care.  Was I being delusional> because it was just a dream.