DRAFT: This module has unpublished changes.

 7/27/15

The guys that I met in the hospital were all one in a million, guys I’ll never forget, and I’ll probably never see again.  They all were very talkative and some were flirtatious and their accompaniment in the hospital was very comforting, even when I had things on my mind like my problems, and trying to be able to get out and be an outpatient.

The first out of the three times I was checked into a hospital, I met a very cute guy who was two years younger than me.  At first I didn’t really notice him, as it is with all of the guys that I encounter, but when we were encircled in a group and talking about something, I forgot what, he looked me in the eyes and we exchanged glances, and I got lost in the brown of his eyes and my stomach kind of dropped, and, me being only 15, it was one of the most intense experiences I had had with a guy up to that point.  After that we would talk and stuff, but nothing major.  Then, when I became an outpatient, and he had also, we were standing by the closet and he offered me a hanger to hang my coat with, with the same eager eyes he had before, except this time with a hint of worry, like he was concerned for me for some reason.  There was just something about the way he treated me so gently that made him stand out from everyone else, so that I’ll never forget him. 

The other three guys I’ll never forget I met the third time I went to the hospital.  There was this one guy that was kind of younger than me, and shorter, who had brownish skin, like he was Hispanic or something.  He attracted the attention of a lot of the kids there with his wit and charm.  I remember him making a joke one time about walking into a wall, using a “big word” like he so often did when trying to be funny.  He was around me a lot, like when we were in the dining room and eating, or at group, and he was always correcting me, like before I did something he would always tell me not to do it, even if the thing I was about to do wasn’t a big deal and wouldn’t have mattered.  I remember one time we were eating and he opened his mayonnaise and it splattered on the kid next to him, and the kid next to him almost got mad but for some reason he didn’t.  It was like there should have been a lot of anxiety and apprehension because of the situation, because this kid that was sitting next to him was the type of kid to bring about anxiety and apprehension, but because the kid was there things remained placid.  I felt like, even though this kid who was always correcting me seemed kind of annoying at times, things were better with him around. 

There was another boy with who I was kind of chummy with but I later realized he was really fake and my time with him was a waste of time, but then after thinking about it more I realize it wasn’t a waste of time because now I realize I shouldn’t waste my time with guys like him.  I talked to him and we kind of flirted, and he was more my age, and we would sit in the halls and talk about the stupidest stuff, and then when I left the hospital on a stretcher, which is customary, I didn’t say goodbye to him.  I just looked at him and noticed that he didn’t even care that I was leaving and didn’t pay attention, in that macho-guy type of way.  I always knew in my gut that the guy was a loser, so parting definitely wasn’t such sweet sorrow, but I’ll never forget how it felt to BS someone, and how it felt to be BS’ed by someone else, and knowing it the whole time.

The last guy I met the third time I was admitted into the hospital was really sweet.  To me he seemed English or British or something, but I could be totally wrong.  He would sit with me in the room you were supposed to sit in when your parents visited you, and I remember once or twice I would be waiting for my parents to come and his parents would already be there and they would bring him pizza from the California Pizza Kitchen, or some pizza place like that, and he would tell his parents to bring some for me next time, and he would ask me what kind I wanted.  He wasn’t the boyfriend type, more the friend type, but there was something unique about his presence that makes me remember him as something more than a mental patient.  We would talk about stuff in the room where kids studied and hung out and some of it was just gibberish that wouldn’t make sense to others but I remember it making perfect sense to me at the time, about me and what was going on at the time, like it was nostalgic.  Maybe it was just coincidental, but that was why sometimes I felt like I was talking to a best friend, and it was really comforting. 

Anyways, guys are guys and they come and go, some are good and some are jerks, but being in the hospital is a really unique setting, where you learn things about yourself and what other types of people are out there.  Meeting guys in the hospital gave me a unique perspective on what a guy can be, one that I’ll probably never find outside of the hospital.  I know that there are a million different types of guys out there, and finding the right one will be hard, but I have had an interesting experience with them in the hospital. 

 

DRAFT: This module has unpublished changes.