6/27/20
Free Write About Gabriel
You know how sometimes people say, I wish I could go back in time and change things? I agree. Sometimes I wish I could go back to high school and join clubs and get good grades and make friends. But now I can’t because I am almost 36 years old.
When I went to a public high school that had a momentary reputation of being, rough, I probably walked through the magic thing a gazillion times a day and never realized it. I didn’t really get the gist of the, heaven on earth at the moment because of fear of the unknown and fore to come, until I was in my twenties. It always kind of lingered and kind of got stronger as I got older. Does that mean I didn’t have it as a twenty something year old? No. I knew what was going on before the angels decided to make me one of their own. Before it, I was the baby. Now, I have ambitions of being the, or a, lead angel, like of how I know Gabriel the angel is.
When I went to the ER one of the holiest of the holy told me that I had graduated, and now my uncle Gabriel was my fellow angel/adult, just as my mommy angel Gabriella is my friend- I think. Gabriella has a sense about her, where it seems like she is always scared of something. She walks like the girl I went to school with did, this girl being one of them that later let me in as their leader, as well.
Gabriel is a stud. In his human form he has wavy black hair and is a bit short and small, probably because he and his fellow angels are always scared of the girl who knows that shit went down but doesn’t show it, so that to create the rain clouds about that only the tallest of umbrellas can poke at. That girl terrorizes us Sarah people, by allowing the truth to be hidden so that she can get what she wants and at the same time aspire to be the leader of a group who knows she is trouble, and who doesn’t want anything to do with her.
Gabriel likes to cook. He knows that if I get screwed he will lose his ok-ness, and he shows that he cares by insisting that I stay with him, kind of like how my grandma used to stay with me alone, when I was too young to tell whether people were one type or another. I remember my grandma as the person who I was told to kiss on the cheek, who would give me cookies on Easter. The first time I realized Gabriel was something, someone, for real, I thought he was a bad angel. I thought he was conceited, and I thought he was going to screw us all with his not- good angelness. But now that I have contact with him, I know he is a good guy, who wants me to come back as a baby to babysit, so that to give the holy thing, as a baby, toddler and child. Who knows after that where it will go. Maybe some new dimension. All I know is that the angels are the ways that I have discovered heaven and the different levels of hell. It is the way I have realized that there is more to the universe than energy and space, that all of that is a mirage, something to get in our way so that to hide the fact that we weren’t all meant to be together.
I think that I am turned on by Gabriel because he is the boss angel, along with Michael. Gabriel believes that the moment he lost me as a child was because Michael was the person being with the other child in Gabriel’s sight, and that is how heaven almost fell, for Gabriel at least. I believe when that happened it was to guard my mind so that no one could get to that holy thing when I would get older and need it.
Am I ever going to get married to Gabriel? It is up in the air, but he is just so unlike my father, that I don’t think it would work out. Maybe it would, but I hope he knows that I am not just interested in him because he is the boss. I am interested in him because, from what I can see, his human form is adorable, and I can’t get over what kind of a man he is. He said that he was once a human, too, around the time that humanity started, kind of- at least according to the Bible (and not evolution).
Gabriel looks at me like he is angry that he cannot be with me, like he knows something is wrong that he can’t fix. He kind of makes me feel that same way as the twenty something that sat across from me in business writing made me feel. His eyes got super dark and he was very quiet. When he talked, he talked like he knew everyone was watching. Maybe the darkness in his eyes was because he was jealous. Or it could have been from something else. The twenty something next to him was a gypsy. The teacher was a gypsy too, but they seemed like different types of gypsies. I used to think I had a past life as a gypsy, until I realized that I was one hundred percent mermaid. Are the people from past life trying to hide that I was a good gypsy? Maybe. It is possible that the mermaids and gypsies and witches and vampires and pirates all existed in some other life, before Jesus, or in a different or parallel universe. Who knows? I would be proud to be either. The mermaids are the type who show that they would stick with me no matter what. I feel like I belong with them.
Gabriel is sitting in his angel room right now, getting ready to go to bed in his angel bed, getting ready to pray, getting ready to angel dream. I am so attracted to his energy, the was he shows he cares. He hasn’t seen his sister until the 66,000 were taken from heaven for some reason, by those beings that oversee things, possibly because their last forever didn’t fail. Gabriel is mad because his sister was taken away from him in this manner. It’s the way things went, how things were because of bosses. Did she do something wrong, did the rest of the 66,000 do something wrong to earn the taking? Maybe it’s something only the takers knew. I think of it as abductions in heaven, something that I know at least Gabriel the angel thinks are unfair and that he didn’t deserve. When I see Gabriella walking down the streets though, I know she isn’t in the ultimate type of danger. I know that in her own way she is okay, and I try to show to Gabriel that she is ok.