Free Write 1/24/18- Adam-unedited

When I was a kid I had an unofficial friend named Adam.  He was short and Hispanic and went to the public middle school that was a couple blocks away from my house.  I have memories of playing capture the flag with him- the front yard of my friends Brandy and her neighbor’s were the premises of our capture the flags games.   I remember having nowhere, hardly, to run, but still enjoying myself immensely.  I remember when I would get together with my neighborhood friends and hang out, it was the best.   I had other friends- that were closer to my age- in my class at St. Martha’s, but the ones that I had that lived on the same side of Fosner, I had a deep connection with- in such a way that we could be as casual as we wanted and at the same time feel very comfortable with one another’s presence.  We would spend days on end riding bikes and doing random things close to home, and then going out to eat with whatever money we had- at places like Parnsey’s, a hot dog stand that was a five-minute bike ride from my house.

Adam and I didn’t talk that much when we were younger- but we knew each other were there on those days of blissful happiness.  I have a vivid recollection of him sitting on Brandy’s front porch, with some of his friends- one/the only person sitting by him being Brandy’s brother.  We talked mean to each other- and I was rude to them.  It makes me wonder how Adam is doing now.  When he was a kid he was short and immature looking, but I bet he had a big growth spurt and turned in an attractive adult.  I went to high school with him for a while- it was the fourth high school I went to- after a succession of attempts at private high schools that failed, due to specific details that took place that I wish I could go back in life and change.  If I could go back I would work so much harder in school, definitely, but I would also try to go out on a limb and make friends- maybe with Adam, maybe with other kids that I saw every day and never talked to.  The other memory I have of Adam is of him meeting my path at the top of the stairs, in school, looking very worried/scared/sorry about something- his eyes were red, and his facial expression was uncertain- something like that of his year book picture- where his eyes were rolled to the back of his head so that whoever was looking at the picture wouldn’t be able to recognize him. 

I saw a guy that looked like Adam at the Panda Express today.  If it was him, he has grown.  If it wasn’t him, it was someone that looks like a guy that I would think to be Adam.  I bet a few years from now I will regret not talking to him today, just as I regret not following a certain path during my high school experience.  Right now, I regret not knowing what to write more- so who knows- maybe a few years from now I will have a best-selling novel and be a celebrated poet.