Free write

When I was in high school I used to stay after school for no reason.  Sometimes I would take the activities bus after school, when sometimes also other people would also.  We would hang out in the hallway and do nothing- but- talk.  I remember the other Amy would be with me, during/before/after swim practice – along with the other Danielle.  And some other others.  I felt like some of them loved me and at the same time hated me- like the other Amy and the other Danielle. 

One day, I can’t remember if it was after or during school, but my intuition tells me that it was after school- I didn’t get a ride home that day through the bus (and I felt like an alien- on the bus) and I called my Dad to ask if he could give me a ride home and he started yelling at me and he might or might not have told me he was picking me up- or THAT I had to get a ride back by myself.  And I was crying and I was walking down the hall and at that exact moment I felt that some-one was passing me and I looked and no one was tere but I felt someone pass me and I don’t know if it was me feeling that it was one or two or three people passing me and when I lloked to where people would have been if they were really there I just felt a presents and I felt-looked at the place where they would have been and it felt like it was just light- if there were three people- red orange and yellow- if there where two orange and yellow if there were one yellow or orange; I think orange.  If you saw me at the time and if there were people passing it might have looked like I was catatonic, if there were people passing or maybe the thing is that there were really passing and I was just catatonic.

Fictional Part- trying to be creative/don’t know what else to write

I remember I was thinking in the bathroom the other day and I was thinking of that day when I don’t kniow if I was being catatonic and I felt someone passing in their car-the guy that I used to be best friends with in high school and later I figured out that he was watching and listening and he figured out something about the day and in my imagination I feel like that is how he knows he can ruin me because he can prove that I am crazy- this is why I don’t know if I am being crazy and I don’t know if I was being catatonic but I have this feeling/thing that I know people at the old school remember the day I was crying/catatonic in the hall- like I didn’t know about it – and that is where our paths will never cross until I figure out what he is going to tell them- I think that the guy that passed me thought that he was behind the people that I ddin’t see/where catatonic about and that is why he thinks I am crazy because I failed to see him- I think the big thing about that is that it was the catatonic thing times three- I was catatonic thing the/ I didn’t see the ornage/yellow/red people- and then was the thing that he didn’t see the orange/yellow/red thing but only me?  It was the scary thing tiiimes three and it reminds me of the time in the hall when I saw the same guiy- he walked away from me after ultimate dumping me and taking away all of my dignity and any ounce off a souol I might have had before that moment and then I feel like that’s when God took the thing about him where he would have it in the future about something similar and I saw him, at the ‘T” intersection and by lockers- and he said in his whiny flirting voice “Jenna!” and looking back it makes me wonder if in his whiny voice he was really seeing someone else also named Amy and in a way being catotinc times 3 because I was watching- and it makes me winder if he thought it was nother girl and was trying to mess with my thoughts and now I don’t know what to thingk of him and the girl he held hands with int the hall in front of me.  Ands now I don’t know.